How do you know just what is real? What’s in a dream, and how does it feel? There’s a specific difference that I’ve come to find on how to play a trick on my mind. Sometimes I think that I disguise the way I feel, the pain inside, and take myself out for a drive to clear my head and free my mind. I’m indecisive but that’s okay, I’m no fan of certainty anyway. I’m cold and broken, I’m tired of fighting, I wish you’d see how hard I’m trying. My pain unbearable, my thoughts aren’t buying into this notion of it gets better and if it gets better then why haven’t I been able to find relief? How long do I have to live like this before it’s my turn, I don’t wanna just survive anymore I’m working on changing the way that I’ve been sabotaging myself and the happiness I can’t seem to find is buried beneath all the stress that I’ve been carrying around in my chest.



5 thoughts on “Specific

  1. Thanks for sharing this. I think a lot of people would be able to relate. I certainly can. I hear a pressure to “get better’ … and a longing to … and at the same time wanting to accept and hear your mind and body’s truth. Wishing you abundant self-compassion and gentle, accepting companionship through this pain.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Not easy to let go habits we have been feeding for a long time. One step at a time and it is accomplished. Great sharing, loved the way you expressed it, just as it is.

    Liked by 1 person

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