I don’t need a symphony to play it out for me, I’ve come to see that times like these are not as bad as they may seem. There’s no excuse for my behavior, but I’m consumed by paranoia. Despite all that I’m just trying to feel alive, just trying to find a purpose in life that makes me feel that I’m worth while. I can’t believe the things I’ve seen so I try hard to forget them, so I can become someone else, someone with less perspective. The things that boil my blood, the suffering and poverty of mentally ill people who have no families. We’re supposed to get by on our own, no help or dignity. You judge us all like you know best, as if you’ve ever struggled. To turn 18 and be kicked out of your foster home, to have to go back to abuse that you were taken from many times, but was always forced to return back to. I’ve never met another soul who truly understand my reasons for wishing I could get away to a place with warmer seasons, and pretend like I’m some different girl, that I haven’t yet been broken, or jaded by the things in life that you have no control over.