Choose Your Adventure

Let’s say you’re living alone, single, well off, nothing too harrying looming over your head, and you’ve decided that you’re going to take a vacation by yourself. You’re not exactly the Eat, Pray, Love type, but you wouldn’t mind a quest of self preservation. If you would, allow me to turn this around and create for you all a short story with this prompt from my own perspective, as if I were the person I described at the beginning.

I’ve been having this longing feeling, this sudden urge to get away from it all, life, the bustle, the unsettling loneliness. At least if I took a vacation, maybe being alone wouldn’t seem so noticeable because I’ll be surrounded by beauty and wonder and new and exciting things; I’ll be somewhere new where no one will know me, and where I can be someone new, too.

After wracking my brain for weeks, scouring the internet for the perfect destination for my quest, I finally decided that maybe there isn’t a perfect place, maybe the place that needed to be perfect, was in fact my state of mind. If I was going to escape, that meant from myself, too. After all, that’s where the real stress of my life lies, in my own head. I’m my biggest critic and my worst enemy, I’m sure some of you can relate, but when it comes to me personally, it cuts way deeper than it should sometimes.

That’s been my biggest battle in life, the one struggle I’ve not been able to overcome, or to at least learn to live with. It seems no matter where I am, no matter whom I’m with, I’m always liable to fall victim to my own harsh words and thoughts, my own pathetic self-sabotage. It’s way past time for me to do this, for me to go somewhere so beautiful that it’s impossible for me to make myself miserable. I’m determined, it’s finally my time to shed my skin and overcome this heavy, ugly burden that I feel I’ve been carrying around my whole life.

And just like that, at that very moment, it hit me like a train, I didn’t need to go anywhere, everything I needed was right here available to me, right in front of my face, and I was just finally realizing it. What I needed a vacation was, was from the voice inside my head, from myself, from the judgment and hate that I’m ever constantly allowing to overpower and overwhelm me. Maybe it’s time for me to accept that this will always be a struggle for me, unless I take charge, unless I decide that it ends now, that I won’t continue to live my life like this. And that’s exactly what I’m gonna do; this is my life, I know who I wanna be, and I think I finally know just how I need to proceed, with caution.


1 thought on “Choose Your Adventure

  1. Well said. On the note of being an “eat/pray/love” type, if you struggle with loneliness, I would highly encourage you to try the “pray” part. If you aren’t religious, I understand. But the idea that you are never truly alone, due to God’s constant presence around us, should be increasingly comforting in times of loneliness and confusion.
    Cheers to a thoughtful post! Thank you for that!

    Liked by 1 person

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