Tag Archives: Marriage

Never Enough

I try my best to be thankful for the little things I have, but it’s difficult when there’s always something new to bring us down. Money makes the world go round, so they say, I wouldn’t know. But I do know that needing more is stealing my joy and hope. My daughter loves me so, we’re as close as close can be, but because of her own issues, sometimes that’s hard for her to see. Our home is an apartment filled with neighbors who have tried to do everything in their power to get us kicked to the curb.

My husband is my best friend, and for years my only friend. We’ve been to hell and back together, an extremely difficult path. At first it began with us chasing our dreams, and oh did we get close. But now our lives consist of trying to figure out how to support us. We haven’t been alone in well over a year, I’ve never had a babysitter, and our daughter won’t tolerate being alone with strangers. I wish and try to find a way for us to live our lives to the most, instead we spend our days scared that we may not survive.

But having them alone should simply be enough for me, and gratitude is a feeling that is quite unknown to me. I’ve spent most of my life focusing on how to stay alive, I’m not quite sure I can figure out how to live a life instead. I’m trying to be better, to improve for my little girl, working out, eating better, never smoking in front of her. And yet them bigger issues in myself elude me so, I need some help to find myself before I get too old.

Gratitude

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Comedy in Marriage

This isn’t like anything I’ve done before, and I’ve never really expressed my interest in this particular art to anyone before. I’ve always fancied myself a remotely, if not relatively funny person, being modest, I believe. So recently I decided to try writing out some jokes for the first time in seemingly forever, and I thought, what better place to test the water than here? Here goes, I hope you all enjoy!

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My husband, like most of the man children we all married, still at the age of 30 gets incredibly violent and feral when it comes to losing or fucking up while he’s playing video games, or any type of game really. This time he just so happened to be playing F1, which I’m sure only the men in the house tonight will know of, because it’s a completely sexist sport with virtually zero women in the field, visible or behind the scenes. Dammit, my feminism’s showing, oops. So anyways, he’s playing this car simulation game & basically keeps running straight into the wall at the same turn. Here’s how the conversation played out.

Josh: Why am I so stupid, baby?

Me: *Shrugs*

Josh: You don’t have to answer, you can plead the 5th. *Laughing*

Me: I didn’t really know what to say anyways ’cause I can’t relate…

See, now while we both had a good ole laugh, we were most definitely not laughing at the same thing. You gotta pick your battles in marriage, and since I was feeling generous, I let him have that one. All bullshit aside, my husband is the best I could’ve ever asked or hoped for, but he is certainly far from the sharpest tool in the shed, speaking of which, he can’t even use tools for shit. Should’ve stuck with the brightest crayon in the box metaphor. Sorry baby, but I still love ya.